


Your whole perspective gets hazy

by why_didnt_i_get_any_soup



Series: Yet I Can't Imagine You Want Me, Too [3]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Blood, Blood Loss, Blood and Injury, Bodily Fluids, Daddy Issues, Eating, Eriadu, Evil First Order Assholes, Explicit Sexual Content, Fantastic Racism, First Order, Food, Implied/Referenced Mind Control, Injury, Like so many daddy isssues out the wazoo and wazoo adjacent, Lothal, M/M, Mind Games, Oral Sex, Racism, Self-Harm, Sex, Sexual Content, Speciesism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-05-22 14:17:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6082497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/why_didnt_i_get_any_soup/pseuds/why_didnt_i_get_any_soup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux doesn't like his authority challenged, by anyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Don't look at me. This is a continuation of the first story in this series. It will all converge at some point, I promise. (no sex in this chapter, but next chapter...) also, to be honest, this may not end well for Kylo and Hux. I haven't planned it entirely but given the story so far, it could end with them dying or in prison. I really don't know. So, if you're looking for happy kylux, this is probably not the story for you.

Hux had noticed it for some time, before the Starkiller had been destroyed. (He still felt the Starkiller had been a success--they had destroyed the Senate, at the very least. Honestly, he felt the failure was all Kylo’s. The Resistance might not have come so immediately if Kylo hadn’t been so sure he could break the girl. But now he was bearing the scar from her and she was off to find Skywalker.) Phasma had been sneaking around, whispering and stopping when Hux walked into the room. Hux was startled when he saw her leaving Snoke’s chamber. How long had she been talking to Snoke?

At that thought, his mind startled spiraling out. He didn’t want to say he was paranoid, but he was sure someone somewhere probably could call him that. Mostly he knew how the Order worked; everyone, including—or perhaps especially—himself, was self-serving, trying to claw with bloody fingers up the ladder. Phasma was no different. He learned this lesson very early on, in school, when he tried to make friends. No one really had friends and no one really trusted anyone else, but some people stuck together, when someone was powerful, rising quickly. Hux had seen that in Phasma, might have sought to promote her at some point, since she seemed to believe in the Stormtrooper program just as much as he did. And she was wicked with a phaser—better than Hux, probably. She was a warrior more than a strategist, more than a person looking to rise. She wanted to fight. And when she did, it was vicious. It delighted Hux.

But there she was, sneaking out of Snoke’s chamber. So, he wasn’t at all surprised when it was announced, the day after the Starkiller base was destroyed, that Phasma was being promoted to general, skipping at least six ranks. Clearly, that was not warranted, or deserved. And clearly, it was a challenge to his authority. Snoke no longer wished for Hux to be the sole authority at the helm of the Order. And by that, Hux could not abide.

He began to plot.

...

Before Kylo even had an opportunity to even begin to formulate a plan (an escape?), General Hux burst into Kylo’s private medical room, trying to fill the space. But he wasn’t wearing his uniform, something Kylo had taken for granted; Hux looked so much smaller outside of the uniform, outside the  _ position _ , even when he was trying to look imposing.

Immediately, Kylo felt himself reach out to search Hux’s mind, instinctively like he almost always did, despite how guarded Hux always was, prioritizing only First Order business when Kylo was around to avoid giving up anything personal. But now Hux wasn’t shielding anything; there was hardly anything but...panic? And determination. There was definitely a sense of purpose as he started to check Kylo’s medical files and readings. He looked almost like he was about to ask how Kylo was but that got pushed away. Having Hux—someone who was always so stolid—be anything wavering was... _ disconcerting _ . making Kylo feel naked, more than being just in his undergarments and having drying come of the sheets of the med bed.

“What are you doing here?” Kylo made no attempt at deepening his voice like he usually did with his subordinates, or even trying to sound  _ in control _ . That wasn’t really his priority right now. From Hux, he was getting visions of Snoke, of Phasma laughing with spittle at the corners of her mouth, of her being promoted to general. It was all spinning, replaying over and over and it was disorienting. He pushed through the haze, trying to find Hux’s actual thoughts even before he could say anything.  _ Escape _ . He was seeing the thought, like an undercurrent, a mantra repeating in Hux’s head. Why would he want to escape? Why would it be escape?

“You intend to leave the First Order, Hux?” Normally, Kylo would address Hux by his title, but it seemed that Hux was firmly rejecting it, going against everything that was in his being. Anything and everything Kylo knew about Hux was that he loved power, clung to it like a rabid animal, and sometimes it nearly intimidated Kylo. “Why?”

“I don’t have to answer to you.” Hux said, sounding more like his regular self. Kylo smirked at that. “Though, I thought you might want to leave as well. You can’t believe Snoke has anything... _ hospitable _ planned for you.”

Of course, Kylo could practically feel Snoke’s presence in his mind, telling him that he was weak, that he needed more training, that he deserved to be shredded up by the Light. These things were only preliminary—it only got worse from there. Snoke wouldn’t call it torture, of course, but it would look an awful lot like what Kylo did to people from the Resistance.

“What do you propose we do?” He questioned, finally standing from the bed.

“You’re have  _ the Force _ , Ren. It can’t be that hard for you to get out of here if you wanted.” Hux gave him a withering look that delighted Kylo.

“You’re not wrong,  _ General _ .” He said, dragging out the word, intentionally waiting for that sneer to curl Hux’s lip at the title. “So, really this is for your own benefit and you just want to  _ use  _ me for my power?”

The withering look from Hux was back. “You can stay here and rot, for all I care. Come or don’t. I thought you might want an out.”

Kylo fixed Hux with a smug look, towering over him despite the rip in his side trying to gape open at the movement. “You do nothing for the benefit of others, Hux.” Hux looked as if he were going to protest but Kylo held up his hand and smirked when Hux flinched a little. “I’ll come with you.”

“Do you think this is a game, Ren?” Hux snapped and it made Kylo laugh.

“A bit, yes, frankly.”

“Ren, you’re injured, Phasma is a general, Snoke is...I don’t really know, the second we leave this room we’re going to be  _ enemies  _ of the First Order, but we have to find that girl.”

“Oh, that’s what this is about. You  _ want  _ her, Hux.” Of course, he meant it as an innuendo but, unfortunately, Hux didn’t rise to the bait.

“You’ve encountered her, felt her mind. You can track her? Make a connection again?”

Kylo sighed. “It would be  _ faint  _ at best. And we can’t underestimate her. She would know the second I reached out to her.”

“It’s worth the risk. She is powerful, could make a powerful ally. Imagine her as a  _ Sith Lord _ , Ren.” Hux’s eyes were twinkling. That’s what this was about; Hux was looking for the next ass to kiss. He was feeling displaced, threatened. And that was enough for him to jump ship? That was curious to Kylo and he had a momentary flash of doubt for who he would be traveling with. Who was Hux? Kylo knew he was raised up in the Order, groomed from the day he was born, stuck in the shadow of his father. Kylo could relate to that, at the very least. Now with Phasma promoted so highly, so quickly, something that would look weak to the Order in Kylo’s opinion, he was concerned about the structure Snoke was building around himself. That was where the true power came from and Kylo knew it. Hux certainly seemed to know it. It wasn’t that Phasma was incapable, just that she was meant for a battlefield the same way Hux was meant for an office, paperwork, and much distance between himself and the victims.

“You have a ship lined up for us, Hux?”

Hux didn’t bother answering that. “How are you with blasters?”

“I can handle them.” Kylo cracked his knuckles. “You don’t happen to have any other clothes on you?”

“What you see is what you get, Ren.” Hux was steadying himself by the door, obviously holding down his panic. This was the most rebellious thing he’d ever done and Kylo was going to relish it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied. Sex next chapter??

The halls were mostly empty, but it was Kylo. Who was going to question him? Most of the troopers on duty who had made it off the Starkiller had no desire to die because they had the nerve to question Kylo. Even if he was in under clothes, clearly limping from the wound at his side and sporting a nasty gash across his face. They all just averted their gazes and kept on. This was going to be easier than he expected.

The descended into the belly of the ship, down to the escape pods, the emergency vehicles, instead of a TIE fighter. It made sense since an escape pod wouldn’t sound off any alarms. That would give them a chance to at least get  _ some  _ distance between themselves and the ship before they tried to warp speed.

Kylo didn’t know what time it was and he hadn’t for awhile but he could guess by how empty the halls were that it was night time. Or maybe they just lost a lot of their troopers with the Starkiller. Either way, Kylo knew Hux would have waited until a dead period to try to make a break for it, one way or another. He wasn’t a fool, at least, and that was somewhat comforting despite not really knowing what he was getting himself into. Hux was strapped into the seats in the cockpit of the pod, pressing buttons and getting it ready for launch, while Kylo moved the blaster controls around, familiarizing himself with how reactionary they were. Kylo was a fighter too; he enjoyed lobbing around his heavy saber and crushing people with the Force, but he didn’t know too well how to use blasters if he was being honest. He knew even less how to pilot a ship. So, the blasters it was.

“Are you still sure about this, Ren? You still have time to turn back.”

“Above all else, finding Luke and that girl are the most important things to me right now.” It felt...treasonous already, speaking ill of the Supreme Leader, someone who could easily invade Kylo’s thoughts at any moment, perhaps even control Kylo’s hands if he so chose. It was terrifying, knowing that Kylo had let him in. Once was all it took; to Snoke, that was all the permission he needed and Kylo was his puppet from then on.

“Of course.” Hux snorted. Kylo skimmed the surface of Hux’s mind and was confronted with incredulity; Hux did not believe that as the sole purpose as Kylo’s reason for defection; he was right.’

The engines whirred alive and Hux took several deep breaths before disengaging from the  _ Finalizer _ and being ejected into the space directly below the ship’s belly.

Kylo watched the dark form of the ship starting to get farther and farther away. He had no clue what direction Hux was steering them or if it was even closer to Rey; he figured the strategy would be to just get  _ away  _ at this point. It wasn’t until they could almost see the entire hulk of Finalizer before the ship’s blasters began to engage and lock targets on the escape pod.

“You ready, Ren?” Hux called, making the preparations to throw the pod into hyperdrive. It wasn’t a fighter; it was meant for survival and that was really it. Ren figured he likely had a limited amount of shots. He had to take out any guns before they could take the pod out.

“Not really!” He yelled back and took aim just as a blast grazed the side of the vessel. “Fuck!” Kylo swore, getting angry and sloppy. He missed entirely.

“I thought you said you could manage!” Hux sounded furious. It made Kylo angrier, in turn, wishing he could just smash the console and Force choke Hux to death with his face purpling and his eyes popping out of his head. But if he did that, Kylo would surely die—and it would  _ not  _ be in a blaze of glory as he always imagined. He took several steadying breaths and reached out with his mind to focus on the locations of the blasters. They weren’t quite close enough for him to just take them out with his mind but he could use that to locate them and focus his own blasters on them. It worked. After three well-placed shots at the  _ Finalizer _ ’s blasters, Hux got the pod into hyperdrive and they quickly put distance between them and the First Order’s ship.

Kylo’s heart was racing and he was feeling waves of relief and panic, oscillating, coming from Hux’s mind. They were both breathing heavily. Had they actually just severed their ties to the Order? Fortunately, larger ships took much longer to prepare for warp speed and, even then, they were slower than something like the escape pod. The downside, of course, was that the escape pod had a limited amount of time it could maintain the speed. They would have to land somewhere and swap it for something a little more substantial. Kylo hoped against hope that Hux had contacts or something—shelter where they could lie low long enough to procure a ship, maybe get some new clothes. Kylo had the advantage of having very few people recognize his face; he wasn’t so sure about Hux, giving the televised nature of the speech Hux gave about the demolition of the planets using the Starkiller base. At the very least, Hux needed to let his hair down instead of having it slicked back so severely. Maybe grow a beard too.

“Tell me you have a destination in mind.”

“Yes, actually.”

“Oh thank the gods.” Kylo said, hoping it sounded sarcastic as he unbuckled from his seat at the blaster controls and moved towards the front to sit next to Hux. He wasn’t sure why he moved to be closer; probably so he wouldn’t have to shout. That was it. Hux fixed him with his usual withering look as he undid his own belt so he could recline the chair as the ship fell into autopilot. It was oddly comforting to have something do the navigation for you. Kylo wouldn’t mind catching up on some sleep.

“You actually have friends?” Kylo sort of laughed to himself, reclining back.

“People like us don’t have friends, Ren. You should know that.” Hux was looking intently over at Kylo then.

“Aw. Not even me?” He didn’t mean it in any kind of serious way but Hux’s face seemed to soften just a little at it.

“Especially not you.” Hux closed his eyes then and laid back.

“I’m wounded, I’m wounded.” Kylo said sarcastically, moving in a way that twinged his side. He couldn’t help the hiss that he let out at the pain.

“Well, you are actually wounded.” Hux remarked, cracking one eye open. “You’ll likely have to dress it again since it seems it bled a bit.

Kylo looked down at himself. Despite being in black clothing, he did notice the darker spot above the wound. When he touched it it was sticky.

“I don’t suppose there’s any bacta on here.” Kylo chose to ignore the wound and lie back.

“You’d be lucky if there’s a first aid kit on here.”

“What a useless escape pod. The Order really couldn’t spring for first aid kits? Don’t we know that most people  _ escaping  _ tend to be wounded in one way or another?”

“It’s not really  _ we _ , any longer, Ren.”

“Mmm.” Kylo hummed. “Habit.” He explained it away, intending to sleep then.

“Are you going to dress that or not?”

“Maybe later. If there’s anything to dress it with, anyway.”

“I hope you bleed out.” Hux muttered and rolled away from Kylo.

“How long is this trip going to be?” Kylo ignored Hux’s insult.

“About a day and a half. Now, sleep.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this looks a little weird--uploading from mobile. At any rate, there is sex in this chapter so beware young eyes. Also, some kinda gross but with blood and self-injury. Tried to tag it as best I can. Also, there's some food/eating. Nothing weird. Just eating but idk how some people feel about that. At any rate, I did want to mention that after some careful deliberation the "character death" tag is staying. I will apologize in advance but this won't have a happy ending (at least not for kylux...)  
> Edit: chapter now with correct formatting!

The sleeping arrangements were not the best, but Hux had slept on much worse so he fell into a mostly easy rest. That is, until he woke when Ren started thrashing and screaming next to him. Initially, Hux assumed it was just your standard fare nightmare but then he realized Ren was yelling words:  _ get out, stop, I’ll kill you! _

In a moment of panic, Hux thought Kylo was yelling at him and Hux’s fight or flight response kicked in; he was on the other side of the cockpit before he realized Ren looked more like he was talking to himself...or someone in his head.  _ Snoke _ . But he wasn’t just talking to Snoke; his body was reacting—being controlled?—his fingers were clawing, leaving red marks on his face, parallel to the scar given to him by Rey, moving down to rip open his stitches and shove them into the ever-expanding, leaking pool of blood at the blaster wound. Before Hux realized what was happening, Ren had made it so much worse than it had been, tearing skin that had been perfectly healthy, looking like he was trying to shove his fist inside.

“Ren!” Hux yelled. finally moving forward, his hands going for Kylo’s wrists. He was able to pry Ren’s hands back out of the wound but they were covered and dripping and the blood was spurting out and onto Ren’s clothes and his seat. Hux was strong, but he wasn't strong enough to keep Ren at bay and try to dress the wound at the same time.

“This is fucking bad.” Hux told Ren and Ren’s eyes were not seeing; Snoke was still there. “Wake up, you fucking bastard, or you really are going to bleed out.” Ren’s arms struggled against Hux’s grip and his breathing was labored, warmly hitting Hux in the face. “Wake. The. Fuck. Up.” Hux grit out, pushing back on Ren’s arms with each word. He was going to have bruises there for sure. But that wasn’t going to matter if he couldn’t get Ren to wake up so Hux could dress the fucking wound. Then, the fight went out of Ren’s arms and sight came back to his eyes.

“Hux…” he hissed out. “Fuck. Now might be a good time to check for that first aid kit.” His voice was low and hoarse from the yelling, weak. Hux immediately let him go and went to the back of the pod where there were a few storage containers in the walls. He opened most of them, finding only food rations until finally he found a box with the aid symbol on it. Yanking it out, he checked the kit and was relieved to find a bacta bandage inside. But just one. Probably not enough to heal it all the way, but enough to get it back to manageable, until they could land anyway. They still had about a day left before their destination, crossing a lot of empty space in the meantime, nowhere to land for an emergency stop. Had he really thought this plan through?

“You’re in luck, Ren. We have one bacta bandage.” Hux called as he rushed back into the cockpit. He didn’t think Ren was doing well but he still found himself more startled by the whiteness of Ren’s face; like snow, deathly. “Fuck.” He swore to himself, yanking Ren’s shirt away from the wound and slapping the bandage on as fast as he could. Ren was wheezing, still, even as some of the tissue began to knit back together on the edges of the bandage. Hux rummaged through the aid kit and finally found a small bottle; it was meant to replenish fluids—mostly blood. He hoped it would be enough for what Ren lost.

“Drink this.” He told Ren, popping the bottle open and placing a hand under Ren’s chin to help him tip his mouth up to drink. It all went down, just a little sloshing out of the corners of Ren’s mouth. “You’re gonna need so much sleep.”

“You can’t let me sleep, Hux.” Ren’s voice was still weak, but he reached a hand out, gripping at the front of Hux’s shirt. “That’s how he gets to me.”

“Ren, you can’t not sleep.”

“I can until I’m strong enough to keep him from... _ doing that _ .”

Hux couldn’t imagine. He had spent a good portion of his life jealous of Force-users, but after seeing this display with Snoke, he quickly changed his mind. He was fucking glad he didn’t have a predator looming over him, always, like Ren did.

“How do you propose you get stronger when you’re half dead right now and probably won’t even make it to the next planet if you don’t sleep?”

“I know my body, Hux. I can handle it.”

Hux gave him a skeptical look. “There’s a few blankets in the back. You should go lie down.”

“I’m not going to sleep, Hux.”

“Well, then we’d better eat, see if we can get your strength up.” Hux was a little skeptical to actually get Ren’s strength back up, if he was being honest; he had no guarantee that Snoke hadn't won the mental battle just then and that Ren hadn’t succumbed, making him no longer a viable ally. But if that was the case, why would Ren be fighting so hard not to sleep? Unlikely. Unless it was part of Snoke’s plan to make himself appear as  _ Ren-like _ as possible. He wasn't sure what to do but in the meantime he could feed Ren’s body, at the least. If it was Snoke on the other side of those eyes, Hux was as good as dead anyway. Might as well break some bread, have a final meal.

They had several nutrient packets and some bread that popped up when water was added. It wasn't exactly idea but it provided nutrition and filled the two of them up. A little color had returned to Ren’s face at the end of the meal despite the disgruntled look he had at the taste.

“You are a spoiled little brat, aren't you?” Hux couldn't help but taunt, “Never had to sustain yourself on nutrient packets because mommy was always there to make home-cooked meals. Is that it?” Hux was smirking now as he watched the rage boil up inside Ren, his mouth twitching as he tried to restrain himself. Ordinarily, Ren would have gone right for his saber, slashed up the nearest control panel. But the saber had been lost to the exploding Starkiller and if Ren destroyed anything inside the escape pod they would both become drifting corpses very quickly. Hux, however, did not anticipate physical violence acted about Hux’s person; Ren had never lashed out at him before, never touched him. Yet, now, he was gripping onto Hux’s chin, leaving finger marks and forcing Hux to look up into Ren’s eyes.

“You know nothing about me. Don't not presume to know. I can destroy you, Hux. I don't need you. You need me.” He squeezed harder at that last sentence and Hux could almost swear he heard a slight creaking of his mandible. It was unpleasant, to say the least. Instead of just letting him go, letting him off with just that warning, Ren flung Hux down on the floor with just his grip.

“Fucking hell, Ren. It was just a joke, you giant infant.” Hux muttered, rubbing his jaw and feeling obvious points where bruises would form on his smooth jaw.

“I didn't find it amusing.” Ren spat. He was still seated but he was looming, hovering, over Hux, a dark shadow. His hand moved down and Hux flinched back from it. It made Ren chuckle mirthlessly, both of his hands lashing out like snakes, one landing at the back of Hux’s head and the other grabbing his chin again. Hux hated to admit it but he was terrified. Up until now, he had taken Ren for a child, one with enormous power and little agency. Now, he realized that Ren was crueler than he even imagined and had no allies, even now. On the  _ Finalizer _ , Ren was more like a caged animal than the ticking time bomb Hux had always deluded himself into thinking Ren was. No; Ren was petty and he was cruel. And, somehow, Hux found it wildly attractive, beyond what he even what he knew about himself. And, up until that point, what he knew about himself was that he kept Ren around because he could be a powerful ally if molded correctly. But now he knew he wasn't “keeping” Ren in anyway and he was no match for Ren, he was helpless against him, and a (maybe not so) small part of him really enjoyed that.

So, he wasn't so surprised or startled when Ren’s thumb moved to brush across Hux’s lips, dragged downward to open Hux’s mouth slightly. He was, however, startled when he opened his mouth a bit wider and his tongue darted out to tease Ren’s thumb. He wasn't even drunk; why was he acting like that? Ren chuckled darkly but took it as the consent it was, bobbing his thumb slightly in and out of Hux’s mouth, letting Hux enjoy himself.

“That took no time at all. I got readings off of you but I had no idea you were this eager.” Ren taunted. Hux was ashamed of himself but also he didn't care; he loved having something in his mouth like that. “What else are you eager for?” The implication was obvious but Hux almost couldn't believe how brazen Ren really was sometimes. Hux wanted to argue, to spit and hiss, and tell Ren to get fucked, but he really was eager. Something baser was taking over, some ingrained reaction to this type of solicitation; you always agreed, it would get you ahead one way or another. And at the very least, you could have something to blackmail another person with.

That was when Ren stood up, dislodging himself from Hux, and pulled himself from his pants. He was soft still but it didn't seem to bother him. He sat back down and grabbed Hux by the back of the head, pulling him forward. And there Hux was, with a dick in his face and a few options. Option one: bite it and take his chances. Option two: push it away and take his chances. Option three: suck it and take his chances.

Only one option seemed remotely appealing. He reached out a hand and gripped the base of Ren’s flaccid cock and licked at the head, quickly feeling it start to stiffen. Surprisingly, that's all it took to get Ren to close his eyes and start hissing his pleasure; like a teenaged boy.  _ Interesting. Very interesting _ . Hux sunk down, letting the head hit the back of his throat. He hadn't done that in years and he nearly gagged from being so out of practice but he kept it down and managed to relish the harsh breathing and swearing from Ren above him. How did he wind up here? He certainly couldn't say he expected it, but perhaps Ren had. He said he had gotten readings off of Hux; he never said when he had gotten them. Perhaps there was something there Ren knew before Hux did. Or perhaps Ren was just a touch-starved, lonely man who looked for any kind of intimacy he could manage. Either way, Hux was bobbing his head up and down and he had to admit that he liked it when Ren shoved one of his hands into Hux’s hair, pushing him a little farther down, testing the limits of his gag reflex.

Finally, Ren started swearing at high velocity and his grip tightened as he bucked his hips up into Hux’s face, finally holding Hux in place as he came in warm splashes of thick, tasteless liquid. In the academy, Hux had learned that what one ate could affect the taste. Likely the flavorless nutrient packets contributed this time. Hux found he didn't really mind. That is, until Ren had to open his bratty little mouth.

“Look at you. Here you sit, belly full of my seed. I own you, Hux.”

Hux was still crumpled on the floor, breathing heavily and not making eye contact with Ren after swallowing. He wasn't really ashamed, even if Ren was trying to make him feel that way. It was a favor, a promise of an exchange to come later. Instead of responding, Hux simply reached for the last bit of bread he had left on his plate and scarfed it down.

“Don't you think you’ll sleep now?” He asked, moving the bread over to one cheek.

Ren groaned. “Perhaps never again.”

“You really think he can only reach you while you sleep? Or perhaps he just targeted you then, earlier, because that's when you're most mentally vulnerable?”

Ren didn't answer, just shrugged and poked and the bandage on his side. Already it seemed much better, giving Hux one less thing to worry about. For now.

“Is there anything in the aid kit that might be used to stay awake?”

“Could be.” Hux replied, swigging some water and standing to check. “If there is, you really gonna take it?”

Ren nodded, hardly an expression across his face. Turned out there was such a concoction, provided in case there was only a single pilot on the escape pod and the autopilot malfunctioned but there was more than a day’s worth of piloting to do. Ren drank the whole bottle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, if you haven't read my other story in this universe, [Makes a bee think of honey just as I think of you](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5693047), you should probably do!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting closer to the final encounter that will take place in my other story [Makes a bee think of honey just as I think of you.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5693047) This chapter takes place sometime around [chapter 11](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5693047/chapters/14783308) of that story. Also want to mention there's a bit of anti-Twi'lek racism/speciesism on Hux's part (because he's a piece of shit)

They made it to an outpost—more of a junkyard than anything but it was a lawless enough place that they could land with a First Order symbol emblazoned on the side of their escape pod. They had no money but Hux had planned to sell the pod for scraps and use the money to buy a generic and inconspicuous vehicle that could get them closer to Rebel territory. It helped that neither of them were in their uniforms anymore and they both had the advantage of unknown faces, especially Ren. A Stormtrooper walking down the hallway wouldn't have recognized him if he did not have his uniform and helmet on. Initially, Hux had found it obnoxious and pretentious but now he found it advantageous. Hux, on the other hand, could be identified by any Stormtrooper. Lucky for him, only one was out in the galaxy, unaccounted for.

Ren wasn't doing so well by the time they were in orbit; he was pale and ragged but he was clearly alive and, after a quick inspection, it seemed the bacta patch had healed up the blaster wound as well as possible. But he was waved through and managed to maneuver the pod into a landing area where pilots and marauders and mercenaries alike crawled around and avoided eye contact with anyone and everyone. The post was little more than an asteroid with a few shops on it. And a hotel, though it was likely not the kind that saw much  _ sleeping _ going on.  _ Probably crawling with Twi’leks _ , Hux thought, unable to avoid the slight curl of disgust in his upper lip.

Ren left the pod idling and waited for Hux to tell him what to do. Hux sighed and decided Ren’s Force abilities could probably come in handy here. For... _ bargaining _ .

“Ren.” he started, speaking loudly so he knew he had Ren’s attention. Ren’s eyes snapped to him, bloodshot and wild but alert. “We need to sell this,” he gestured around, indicating the pod, “tell them you want to sell it for  _ parts _ . You can use whatever... _ tricks _ you need to to get us a good amount of money so we can buy a new ship and some supplies.”

Ren nodded, not speaking a word, and Hux watched him disembark, disappearing down into the crowd below. Hux didn't exactly trust Ren but he knew Ren didn't have too many options at the moment so he suspected Ren wouldn't try to sabotage them, at the least.

After nearly an hour, Ren returned. He had a sack and a set of keys.

“What did you manage?” Hux asked, curious but not wanting to seem too eager, too vulnerable.

“I guessed your size.” Kylo explained as he pulled out some clothes from the sack. It was pretty ordinary, drab civilian clothes, a kind of khaki color. Perfect.

“And the vehicle?”

“I got us a small ship from a mechanic. He said it isn't quite running but if we gave him an hour he could put some final touches on it that would have it back in working condition.”

Hux couldn't help the sneer that contorted his lips. “That's the best you could do?” He nearly snapped. Ren remained calm, uncharacteristic for him. Hux knew it was the exhaustion. He blinked slowly and replied to Hux’s jab.

“Here, that was the best I could do. Otherwise, people aren't really looking to  _ stay _ here, Hux. We might have had to hitch a ride with someone to a completely different planet, compensate them for the ride, and then possibly wind up with the same shitty options. Here, I'm saving us some money and, by extension, time. This ship really only has to last us until we get to your  _ friend’s _ place.” Ren put emphasis on the word friend, clearly trying to express skepticism that Hux could even have friends. And to an extent, Ren was quite right but Hux wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

“Fine.” Hux conceded.

“For now,” Kylo gestured around the pod, “take anything you wish to keep. Otherwise, we have an hour to kill and probably need some food before we continue this journey.”

“I feel you might need more than just food. A long, hard nap would at least alleviate some of the effects of being injured.”

Ren did not deign to respond, simply moved to change into the clothes he had bought from himself. Hux took the cue.

…

Hux was firm on driving the shitty little ship, though it hardly had enough room for just the two seats in the cockpit. He really wished Ren had gotten a slightly better ship, especially considering the journey they had ahead of them, but the full tank they had ought to have been enough to get them to Eriadu, at least a 17 hour journey.

To be fair, Ren didn't really put up much of a fight at all. He leaned his seat back as far as it would go and immediately fell into a deep but still uneasy slumber. He probably was still concerned that Snoke would take over his body again but was too exhausted and injured to put up that fight anymore. Hux hoped they were far enough away from Snoke now that they were out of range. But truthfully, Hux had no idea  _ where  _ Snoke was or how the force worked. He was going to be pretty helpless if Snoke took over Ren and tried to kill Hux while he was trying to pilot.

The blasted ship didn't even come with autopilot. It was that terrible. But at least it came with radio capability. Hux fiddled with the dial, trying to pick up anything he possibly could as they neared the Outer Rim. They were still a long way off, essentially in wild space, but there were inhabitants of the Outer Rim planets so they had to have news or music or something. He needed something, anything, to keep himself awake for the journey. He wasn't entirely sure what to do with himself now that he wasn't constantly having to ruminate over tactical decisions, the moves of their enemies, or the bloody  _ Stormtrooper  _ program. He was free and he was bored. Alone and very bored.

…

Ren woke up after several hours and Hux had to fight back the thought that he could be waking up as someone else, as Snoke. He seemed himself as he grumbled something that sounded mean and nasty, at least.

“How far have we gotten?” Ren grit out after clearing his throat.

Hux scoffed. J _ ust like a child _ , he thought. “Four hours.”

“We have four hours left or we’ve gone four hours?” Ren was obviously agitated then.

“Gone four hours, you idiot.”

“I would watch your tongue if I were you, Hux. Remember who’s really in control here.”

_ He just woke up and he’s already going for the power play _ . “Do you have an actual plan, Ren? Do you have any outside contacts? Do you know anyone other than your family and Snoke?”

Ren flinched at the name Snoke and Hux knew he’d just gotten back the upper hand but he tried to suppress his glee at the small victory. Hux had always been taught it paid to have friends everywhere and with how political Ren’s mother was, he was surprised Ren hadn’t learned the same. Maybe he had but he’d been too isolated to implement that. Perhaps this was a sore spot, something to be considered and tucked away for Hux’s later use. 

“I know that girl.” Ren finally said, not shying away from it like Hux thought he might. “And my plan is to get her.”

“‘Get her?’ How positively villainous.” Hux chuckled. “Can you feel her presence? Can you track her?”

“I’m not sure we’re close enough. Or that I’m quite strong enough right now.”

“You need more food and more rest?” It was more of a question than a demand. Hux did not know Ren’s body. Was that a reason for the Force to be weak? If the body is weak.

“Most likely, yes.” Ren closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. Clearly, he was not having a good time.  _ Join the club _ , Hux thought, rolling his eyes,  _ self-righteous prick _ .

“It’s my mind, if you’re wondering.” Kylo opened his eyes to glare at Hux.

“Reading my thoughts now, eh?” Hux snarled but Ren did not deny it. Hux sighed. “Just go back to sleep. I’ll wake you if I need you.”

“You haven’t had much sleep either.” Ren pointed out.

“And?” Hux snapped.

“How long can you stay awake and piloting safely?”

“Oh, now you’re concerned with safety. You joined the First Order, and you’re concerned with safety?”

Ren snarled again and rolled over, facing away from Hux. “Wake me if you need me.” he parroted and Hux turned the radio up a little louder.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting closer to the end! Please read [chapter 13](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5693047/chapters/17793331) of [Makes a bee think of honey just as I think of you](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5693047) prior to reading this!

Hux tried not to fall into the tedium that was the void of space, mostly dark, hardly any stars. But even radio chatter wasn't quite enough to keep him awake. Once or twice he’d caught his eyelids sliding closed involuntarily, causing the ship to veer. That type of mistake could be fatal if they were too near a planet as they warped by. At that speed, being sucked into the gravitational pull of a large celestial body would almost certainly prove fatal. The ship—especially this dingy little one—would likely not be able to pull out of their downward spiral at lightspeed into the surface of the moon or planet. Piloting a ship was so much _precision_ , so much tact, and it took way more energy than Hux had. There was some food on the ship, but it was stored in the back. Hux couldn't let go of the controls for even a second or they would start nosediving into unknown space—and possibly time. He wanted to wake Ren up, lean over just enough to slap the boy awake, make him take the controls just long enough for Hux to actually get a few hours of rest so he didn't cause the ship to spiral out of control and send them to their deaths.

Taking a few minutes to develop his plan of attack, Hux considered all ways Ren could kill him for startling him awake. In the end, he decided he didn't want to be Force-choked to death and was going to let the boy continue to slumber. But shortly after this consideration, Ren began to have a fit as he dreamt, or had a nightmare perhaps. He was flailing wildly like he was slinging his heavy lightsaber and nearly fell off the chair as he roared out screams. He was battling someone, or something. Hux was fascinated but also couldn't afford to take his eyes off the navigation in front of him. But Ren’s chest was heaving and he was thrashing wildly, yelling more like a beast than a man. Hux wasn't sure if Ren was winning or losing but he was fighting like a feral creature. He snorted and chuffed, just like a Bantha, and Hux couldn't quite help the small laugh at that. Finally, with one last thrust of his arms, Ren stabbed so far forward that he sat up with blinking eyes. He was breathing heavily and took a few seconds to register his whereabouts. When he relaxed, breath more even, he spoke.

“I...had a dream…” He huffed.

Hux didn't turn but he assumed Ren was staring at his head.

“What about?” Hux humored him.

“That girl...there was a _duel_. I won. She fell.”

“She fell?” Hux tried to sound engaged but he found it mostly humorous.

“She wouldn't join me, _us_ , so it came down to the duel. I don't know...we were high up. She misstepped and the wind was whipping our hair and I tried to get her to come with me, to train with me and harness her power. She refused and she fell.”

“Weird.” Hux responded, not really all that interested.

“Hux, I think it was prophetic.”

“Prophetic?” Hux didn't even try to hide his skepticism then.

“Yes, you ignorant cretin. The Force can work that way, sometimes. But it can also just distort the future and the past. It's not always clear what the visions mean or if they're literal. But, if it comes down to me and her, I think I can win.”

“Is that the goal? Or do you want her to ‘join our team’ or whatever you said?”

“She’s strong, Hux. She would make a powerful ally.”

“Is that what you're looking for? An ally?”

“I must defeat Snoke.” He cringed just a little when he said the name but powered through. “I don't see you being exactly helpful with that. Unless you want to be a distraction, play decoy. You could hike up your robes and give him a little taste of those legs of yours.”

Hux knew it was meant as a joke but he couldn't help be somewhat flattered at the idea that Ren thought his legs were enticing. Even if perhaps he wouldn't say so, it still seemed like he truly thought so and that was exciting. At least a little bit. But he tucked that away for later. Right then, he needed a little bit of food and some much-needed rest from cover for Ren so much due to his injuries.

“I need you to take over.” Hux told Ren, not really a request so much as a demand. “Unless you want to go screaming down into a flaming fiery death on the surface of some miserable, mystery planet.”

Kylo got the point. He adjusted his seat silently and engaged the second set of controls, allowing Hux to finally sit back for a blissful second with his eyes closed, easing the slight stinging. He got up to grab a protein packet and ate it quickly before reclining his chair back into its farthest back position. The coordinates to their destination were already in the nav-system so he didn't have to worry about that. Not to mention he found it highly unlikely that Ren even actually knew what planet it was they were going to. Ren knew so little of the galaxy outside of his own Snoke-centered reality. He didn't have time to be concerned as he drifted easily into a dreamless sleep.

…

Hux woke up from turbulence. They were moving through an asteroid belt that required the pilot’s full attention to navigate without crashing, even as a Force-user. It was all too much too fast, but that meant they were almost to their destination.

“Are you awake, you bastard?” Kylo shouted over the sound of detritus pinging off the hull of the ship.

“Yes! Your poor steering skills woke me.” Hux smirked as he watched Kylo’s shoulders go rigid. He was probably scowling too but Hux couldn’t see it.

“I’ve been at this for nearly ten minutes straight. I doubt you could do any better.”

Hux set his chair back to the upright position. Ren was right; Hux couldn’t do any better. It was difficult to navigate in an asteroid belt. You had to slow down out of warp speed and slog through it like a swamp.

“I’ll take over.” He said, instead of rising to the challenge. Eating crow in front of Ren was at the top of his list of things he never ever wanted to do, including being sexually subservient to Ren and he saw where he ended up on that front. “We’re nearly there.”

“Thank fuck.” Ren swore and reclined a little when Hux engaged the other set of controls and took over navigation.

“Yes. Autopilot would have been greatly appreciated.” Hux grit out, knowing Ren could hear him in the close proximity.

“I did the best I could, _Armitage_.”

Anyone in the upper echelons of the Order knew Hux’s name and knew he hated to be addressed by it. Unfortunately, that was the best incentive to continue to refer to him as such.

Hux sniffed. “I suppose you did.”

They sat in silence for several more minutes while Hux jerked the tiny ship around, avoiding much more debris than Ren. So, he was able to do better than Ren. That gave him a warm sense of satisfaction. He wondered what else he could do better than Ren.

Finally, the asteroids thinned and they breached the other side of the belt.

“It should only be a couple of more hours now. Security for this planet is loose. That’s why I chose it. Pretty sympathetic to the cause.”

“Do you just have a contact on every planet in the galaxy?” Ren mocked.

“Of course not. Don’t be daft. But I do have several from my school days. It pays to have contacts.”

“Yes, Hux. I’m aware.” Ren said haughtily and turned a little farther away from Hux. “You’re piloting the rest of the way.”

“That’s fine by me.”


	6. Chapter 6

Eriadu City was barely visible through the dense jungle and mountains as they came in. Finally, the city appeared like a concrete compound more than an inhabited area. Hux had only visited a few times, before he graduated from the Academy, but he knew where he was going. He secured them a place to store their dinky little ship and took transport to the outskirts of the city, the green tops of mountains poking out just above the sheer gray faces of high rises as they moved out until finally all they could see was trees. There were a few buildings beyond the main settlement of the city but it was a quiet and isolated place.

  
They stopped the transport outside a squat building that looked pretty much like all the rest in and out of the city. Unremarkable, concrete, gray. It was clear the area had been set up almost like a temporary camp than a permanent residence, having a distinctly military feel to it. Yet, forty years later it still looked like that, vines growing in cracks in the façades.

  
Hux hesitated for a moment after they’d been put out by the transport before he surged up to the door and banged on it heavily. For a few minutes, the door went unanswered and Hux took a moment to check their surroundings, to see Ren staring at the wet foliage.Hux had to assume that Ren had spent a significant amount of his life in the dark interiors of concrete fortresses, more than he had outside in the sun. Seeing the scar on Ren’s face, lax but bright pink in the odd light of an overcast day, he thought maybe it would be good for him to spend some time outside. He kind of hoped there was no room from Ren and that he’d be forced to sleep out in a hut.  
Finally, the door opened.

  
“What the fuck do you want?” the taller red headed man said as he peered imperiously down at Hux.

  
Instead of responding, Hux turned to Ren to try and gauge his reaction. He felt a sense of satisfaction at the look of bewilderment there. It made him smile, just a little.

  
“Ren, meet my brother, Bartram.”

…

The house was, frankly, utilitarian, as would be expected. It had been a military—Imperial—construction so it was the kind meant for large numbers of people. There was mess hall, a large kitchen and lots of small rooms. Needless to say, there was room for them, if Bartram deigned to let them stay.

  
“I’ve let you in,” Bartram said, blocking them in the foyer and not allowing them farther, “now, what do you want?”

  
“We’ve defected.” Hux said, sniffing haughtily.

  
“And you’re coming to _me_ for help?” Bartram laughed, “you _must_ be desperate.”

  
“Hux, let’s just go.” Ren said, then, obviously not wanting to have to prostrate himself for anyone at any time, despite how clearly desperate they both were.

  
“Oh, you must be mistaken. We’re both Hux, here. Do you mean little Armie over here?” Bartram laughed and hooked an arm around Hux’s neck, bringing him into a chokehold, letting him know who had the leverage now.

  
Hux had had to put up with far more humiliating things in his life.

  
“And what makes you think I won’t just turn you in anyway?”

  
Hux shoved his palm into his brother’s solar plexus and broke out of his hold. His brother got winded but didn’t crumple, barely looked as if he’d been hit.

  
“You’re just as unsympathetic to the cause as we are,” Hux asserted, sniffing, “how much of an advantage could that really give you if it involves you back in all of this?”

  
Then, Bartram’s shoulders went lax. That had been what Hux was banking on—his brother trying his very hardest to move away from the legacy of their father and from war in general.

  
“All right.” He stepped away from the door then, obviously inviting them in.

  
Bartram wasn’t exactly a traditional host; he merely let them in, didn’t offer them food or room. They followed him into the large kitchen.

  
“Why do you live here?” Ren jumped in, uncaring if the topic was sensitive as Hux knew it to be.

  
Bartram looked like he was going to say something snide, a sneer forming on his mouth that he knew the both of them had learned from their father, but instead his took a breath and answered.

  
“I lived here when it was Imperial-ruled, with my father. After the fall,” he trailed off for a second but then decided to continue, “people left the base but...it sort of returned to a natural peacefulness after everyone was gone and I...just stayed. I’m not sure I even have any legal rights to be here but I have money, I do some services for people in town and they don’t ask questions, really. I don’t know that they like me, but I don’t need them to like me.”

  
“That was remarkably honestly.” Ren said, surprised.

  
Bartram shrugged. “I’ve changed a bit in twenty years, despite what Armitage might have said about me.”

  
“He’s never mentioned you.” Ren said and Hux’s stomach got a little tight at that, like he felt sorry he’d never brought up his brother before, but they were mostly estranged and it couldn’t be helped.

  
Instead of showing anger, Bartram just laughed. “I suppose that’s fair. I always did remind him a bit too much of our father.” He sighed again. “I guess you’ll want to stay the night.”

  
Hux nodded.

  
“Well, you have free range of what’s here.”

  
“And what about money?” Hux asked, not something he really wanted to talk about but needed to.

  
Their ship would need fuel soon. He assumed maybe Ren could get them through in a pinch but maybe having some real money would be useful.

  
“You can help me fix some things out back, get caught up on that, and I’ll split some of the money with you.”

  
“Sounds reasonable.” Hux nodded.

  
They helped themselves to some of the food in the kitchen and then the three of them went their separate ways for the night.


	7. Chapter 7

Hux was shaken awake in the early morning hours; he could tell by the darkness around him, almost light. Ren was hovering there, features set into a grimace. Hux sat up, startled, his heart beat wild in his chest.

“What do you want?” Hux hissed, trying to calm himself down from the panic of being suddenly awakened. 

“I had a dream,” he said, his knee dropping to the edge of the bed as he crept forward, manic, “we’re closer to her now. I can feel it.” Ren was then completely over Hux, far too close, breathing heavily in his face.

“Well, there’s not much we can do about it now. Can we just get some sleep and we’ll set out in the morning?”

“I can’t sleep.” Ren was still hovering, eyes bouncing back and forth between Hux’s.

“Well, go outside and meditate or something.” Hux snarled and laid back down, turning to face away from Ren.

He hoped the other man would take the hint. Fortunately, after only a few seconds, Hux felt the weight on the bed lift and heard the footsteps before the door closed again.

...

“I don’t know how low you’re wanting to lay, but there’s something to be said for the anonymity of a crowded planet,” Bartram said over the mush they were having for breakfast.

It hadn’t been tasty, by any means, but it was going to keep them alive. Maybe they could stock up on some supplies before they left, with the money they were supposedly getting from Bartram.

“What do you mean?” Hux said after a sip of tepid caf. 

“We’re only a few days away from Lothal.” Bartram kept it noncommittal.

Ren was still outside, apparently having taken Hux seriously when he suggested outdoor meditation. However, he took that moment to finally burst in from the back of the compound. He had some dirt on his face and his hair looked a little wild.

“What have you been doing?” Hux grimaced at the man as he walked over to grab some caf.

It was a little strange, now that they had some down time to settle into slightly more human rituals rather than just eating protein packs and surviving gaping wounds, to see Ren have caf, like he drank it on a regular basis and was somewhat of a normal person. Because he was far from normal. But it made Hux think of what little Ben Organa must have been like, growing up before he was taken by Snoke, where Hux imagined there was not much caf at all.

“Meditating.” he answered blandly, settling down in a seat next to Hux.

“Did you figure anything out?” Bartram asked and Hux had to hold back from giving his brother a nasty look.

“I think I did get in touch with some memories. However, I think I know where we need to go.”

“Lothal?” Bartram suggested.

“Can I see a map of where this planet is?” Ren asked.

Hux forgot that Ren had done very little strategic planning and likely knew very little of the layout of the galaxy or even areas that might be more sympathetic to the First Order. Incredible. A sheltered baby brat.

Because they were living on what was previously a military base, they had data pads all over the place. Bartram went and grabbed one and opened up a map.

“We’re in the Outer Rim right now. Here’s Eriadu,” he pointed and then scrolled a little to one side, “and here’s Lothal.”

“Where’s the center?” Ren asked, perplexion scrunching his features.

“The center?” Bartram looked to Hux for clarification but Hux was just as confused.

“The center of the galaxy, you dolt.” He sneered at Bartram and Hux saw an intense anger pass through his brother, just for a second, but then it dissipated.

“That would be Coruscant,” Bartram zoomed out and then moved the screen over a bit before zooming back in, “there. But why do you care about that? It’s at the center and it’s pretty heavily protected by Rebels and others more sympathetic to their cause. It might be difficult to get in there, especially from out here.”

“I think it’s where we have to go,” Ren told him, staring intensely.

Bartram just nodded and handed the data pad over to Ren. Then, he made eye contact with Hux, gesturing with his head that he wanted to talk to him in another room. Hux got up and followed him out toward the foyer.

“I honestly don’t even want him around anymore. And I highly doubt he’d be any use helping me fix things. If I just give you some money, will you leave?”

“Do you have a ship we can trade out? It’ll make us harder to track and help keep a low profile.”

“There’s one out back, it’s pretty small. It needs rewiring, but that shouldn’t take more than a few hours if I get to it now. It’s not a client’s, just kind of part of the collection that I thought I’d get to eventually.”

Hux didn’t like that sound of that but he didn’t have too many options and he supposed getting away from his brother wasn’t the worst thing in the world either.

“Thank you,” was all he said and then shook hands with him.

While his brother fixed up the ship, Hux and Ren walked back into town, following the narrow and winding dirt path back into the city, to find some food vendors to bring with them on the next leg of their journey. It was funny to see Ren’s eyes get big as he saw fruits and vegetables he’d clearly never encountered in his life. Instead of asking what any of it was, he just started scooping things up into the crook of his arm, making the shopkeeper eye him uneasily. He didn’t notice. Hux only pulled a few things out of Ren’s hands that he was pretty sure Ren wouldn’t like and that Hux didn’t have much of a taste for himself.

The shopkeeper sighed in relief when the two of them came up to actually pay for the things Ren had picked up, offering to bag it all up. Hux thanked her and hastily shooed Ren out the front before starting the hike back up to the compound. He pulled out a single fruit from the bag, something that was the easiest to eat while on the go, and handed it to Ren.

“Go ahead and try it,” Hux instructed.

He watched as Ren bit into it, juices running down the sides of his mouth and down his chin. Ren didn’t say anything but Hux could see the rapture on his face. He couldn’t help but chuckle a little at that.

It took a few more hours before his brother finished the repairs on the junky ship he was giving them. They exchanged the keys and packed their things, setting their coordinates to Lothal.


End file.
